21 Items I have borrowed out of the library in the last week, you would think with all those books I would feel a little better. But nope, I hurt like hell when I see his name, all I want to do half the time is cry. I haven;t even read much in the last month. How can books lose there appeal to me?
Right now at this moment I don't want to go near the book-fest or my bookcase, right now I want to curl up and turn my music up all the way and just cry my heart out until I'm numb. So then I can't feel what I'm missing, I wont know when I'm lonely and most of all I wont have to face the day with the pain and hole in my heart. If only I could numb out all the pain.
I don't even think you know how much my heart hurts with out your love to keep it going.
My mum hasn't helped much, her bitching comments on how I have screwed up my life, how I'm such a bad role model and how I'm not perfect enough for you little made up world. And of course the consent reminder that I will never be good girlfriend/wife material, that one hurts the most.
But now I am off to plan my travels to and from the book-fest.